It was not until recently that Xavier Fulton, who used to play offensive line for the Saskatchewan Roughriders, has been open about his struggles with anxiety and depression.

“I’m 6’5” I’m just over 300 pounds I can bench press the world but I have anxiety and depression,” said Xavier  “That’s not something I am strong enough to deal with on my own … as athletes we believe we are invincible and in a sense we have to carry that onto the field … but this mental battle that’s going on inside of us it’s something that you don’t have to do alone and I don’t think anyone should have to do it alone

Helping Xavier was his wife, Ashley, a former bartender at a Regina pub who he met in 2012.

“I had my reservations as professional athletes do not live your typical lifestyle,” Ashley said “Xavier would come in and sing karaoke to me every night I worked until I finally said yes to a date three months later … and showing me he was the type of man I wanted in my life. By this time we had an amazing friendship and I was very blessed to start dating someone I considered my best friend and be with someone I knew was going to be good to me.”

In the beginning Xavier would keep his depression to himself and felt he needed to deal with it alone. He did not fully understand how he was feeling, was unsure where to go or who to speak to. He tried to not let it affect his career and used football as an outlet.

“Had I come forward sooner I think I would have been able to enjoy my professional football career more,” Xavier said

Eventually with Ashley by his side Xavier went to the football team’s psychologist and started getting professional help.

Xavier feels it has made him a better teammate because now he feels more comfortable sitting around talking with his teammates. It has helped him realize what he has to offer to the team.

“We had been through many ups and downs and overcame a lot of hurdles as a couple,” said Ashley ” But together as a team we worked hard to understand his emotions and how to work together to get out of those dark places. Until this day we still work hard but without therapy and help from the doctors I don’t know where we would be,”

Since getting help Xavier feels it has made his relationship with Ashley stronger because he has been able to be more open and vulnerable with her and made him open to couples counseling.

Xavier also wants other athletes to know they are not alone in their struggles.

From helping her partner through this Ashley does have some advice for others. Ashley and the Canadian Psychological Association recommend cutting out alcohol. She also says to take time to learn about whatever it is your partner is going through. Taking time for yourself is important as you can’t help someone if you are not taking care of yourself, and have a support group for yourself whether it is a loved one, or a therapist of your own.

To any other couple going through the same thing, Ashley does have one piece of advice that may sound simple but is not always: remember why you fell in love in the first place.

“Every day tell one another one thing you love or appreciate about your partner,” said Ashley “Remember it’s the little things that mean the most … Keep your friendship strong and never make someone feel guilty for feelings they may feel when they are in that dark place. Withhold judgment at all times and always be there for one another. Even when you’re angry be there.”

Xavier echoed Ashley’s comment about leaning on your partner.

“It’s Ashley and me against the world.”

On May 19, Xavier will be a speaker at the fundraising walk being held by the Chicago Mental Health Association is putting on.

The Fultons, who are based in Chicago right now, are unsure what the upcoming football season will bring.